Healing is a journey that’s as much about what we let go of as it is about what we embrace. While we often focus on the physical aspects of recovery—such as exercise, therapy, or medication—mental and emotional healing are just as crucial. When we choose to release what no longer serves us, whether physically or mentally, we create space for growth, recovery, and true healing.
Recently, I came across a list by Luminita D. Saviuc, titled 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy. Many of these points resonated deeply with me, especially in relation to my own experience with chronic migraines and working with patients in my clinic and seeing their struggles. These shifts are powerful not only for physical recovery but also for emotional and mental health.
Here’s a deeper dive into the 15 things you can give up to heal—physically and mentally.
1. Give Up Trying to Control Everything
Control. This one hit home for me, especially during my struggles with chronic migraines. For years, I fought against my pain trying to find & avoid triggers, trying to get through the day giving 100% to my kids, my friends and family and my patients – trying desperately to control my pain when it was so out of control. But the more I tried to control every aspect of my body’s reactions, the more frustrated and exhausted I became. Healing came when I let go of the need for control and instead learned to trust my body. Your body knows what it needs. Trust it, and it will work with you—not against you.
Insight: Let go of the need to force your body to heal on your timeline. Trust the natural process of recovery.
2. Give Up Negative Self-Talk
There was a time when I couldn’t see how my life was going to change. I was trapped in a loop of “I can’t” and “I’ll never get better.” The impact of negative self-talk on my health was profound. It took over my brain. The mind-body connection is real, and how you speak to yourself affects your body’s ability to heal.
Insight: Stop letting your mind dictate your body’s potential. Replace “I can’t” with “I’m doing my best,” and watch the shift. I practice everyday looking for the positives in every situation – that little bit of blue sky. I have to because very quickly my head can become filled with stormy skies I know for me this will be a practice for life.
3. Give Up the Need for Approval
It’s easy to get stuck in the need to please others or seek approval from everyone around us. But healing is a deeply personal journey. Only you know what your body needs, so stop seeking external validation and start focusing inward.
Insight: Trust yourself and your body it has the most amazing ability to heal, if you allow it. Your healing is in your hands, not someone else’s opinion.
4. Give Up Your Fear of Change
Change can be intimidating, especially when we’re dealing with injury or chronic pain. But it’s often the willingness to embrace change—whether it’s a new treatment plan, lifestyle, exercise routine, or mindset—that propels us forward in our healing.
Insight: Healing requires flexibility. Don’t fear change; it might be exactly what you need.
5. Give Up Playing the Victim
I’ve seen it many times in the clinic. People who identify as victims of their pain or injury can get stuck in a cycle of hopelessness. While it’s important to acknowledge pain, it’s equally important to empower yourself to move forward.
Insight: Take ownership of your recovery. You can change your story and how you experience your pain.
6. Give Up Past Pain
This is a big one. In my clinic, I often work with people whose pain or injury results from past trauma—an accident, surgery, or unresolved emotional pain. The past doesn’t have to define your future. But moving forward requires letting go of past attachments and allowing your body and mind to heal in the present.
Insight: Heal from the past by focusing on now. What you do today has the power to change your future.
7. Give Up Blaming Others
Blame can be a heavy burden. It’s easy to blame others for our pain or circumstances, but that only keeps us stuck. Releasing blame allows us to move into action. I often see patients blaming body parts, like “their bad knee” this is similar and also not helpful.
Insight: Shift from blaming to empowering yourself to heal.
8. Give Up the Fear of Not Being Good Enough
Many of us hold ourselves back out of fear that we won’t measure up or that we’re not worthy of recovery. You are worthy of healing. You deserve to feel good, inside and out.
Insight: Replace self-doubt with self-compassion. You deserve your best health.
9. Give Up the Need to Be Right
This one can be challenging, especially for those who are used to controlling every aspect of their lives or treatment. Healing often requires flexibility and a willingness to explore new ways of thinking or moving.
Insight: Let go of being right, and open yourself to new perspectives that could aid in your recovery. I occasionally see people that have no intention of embracing treatment, they have already decided that it will not work for them and guess what if you don’t challenge them to change their mindset – they won’t!
10. Give Up Perfectionism
Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy, imperfect, and often unpredictable. Perfection isn’t the goal; progress is.
Insight: Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.
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11. Give Up Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage can take many forms, whether it’s procrastination or subconsciously avoiding the things that could help you heal. Take proactive steps each day to move closer to your goals, whether it’s exercise, rest, or nutrition.
Insight: Stop standing in your own way. Make decisions that support your healing. I like to jot in my diary at the end of each day what positive steps forwards I have taken, I sometimes even give myself a gold star! Keep it fun, keep it light if you have nothing to write in your diary at the end of the day quickly do something to write in ‘calf raises whilst brushing your teeth’ then start again tomorrow.
12. Give Up the Fear of Being Vulnerable
Healing isn’t just about physical work—it’s emotional too. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help can accelerate your recovery.
Insight: Don’t be afraid to lean on others for support. Healing happens when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
13. Give Up Attachment to the Past
Past pain or trauma doesn’t have to define who you are or where you’re going. Embrace the present moment and allow yourself to move forward.
Insight: Healing comes from focusing on what you can do now—not what happened then.
14. Give Up the Idea That Healing Is Linear
Healing takes time, and there will be ups and downs. It’s okay not to be okay all the time. Embrace the process without the expectation that it will be smooth or predictable.
Insight: Be gentle with yourself. Healing is a journey, not a destination.
15. Give Up Waiting for the “Perfect Time”
There will never be a perfect moment to start healing. Start now. Take the first step, and the rest will follow.
Insight: Don’t wait for the perfect time—start your healing journey today. If I can help – get in touch.
In Summary: Letting Go to Heal
Healing is a process of releasing—releasing physical tension, emotional baggage, and mental blocks. By letting go of control, negative self-talk, attachment to the past, and the need for perfection, we can create the conditions for true healing. This coupled with practical steps like beginning an exercise program or getting professional help will be a winning combination.
Healing starts with what we choose to let go of. So, as you move forward in your recovery, whether from pain, injury, or emotional wounds, remember that your mindset plays a crucial role in your journey. Embrace the process, trust your body, and give yourself permission to heal. I hope you have found that useful, for me it’s always nice to be reminded of how far you have come – so thank you for the opportunity to do so.
Take care, Helen
Helen Manders BSc (Hons) MCSP HCPC
Chartered Physiotherapist Since 2001
